Rating

★★★★☆

Category

non-fiction

Read

2023-07-22

Pages

312

Skipped or skimmed a lot of the early chapters, but solid reference – particularly the back half.

We have learned the most, and had the most fun, and made the most wonderful, rich connections, when we have welcomed each new person into our lives just as they are, without trying to force them into the picture that’s labeled “relationship” in our brains.

The kinds of agreements that sluts make to deal with emotional comfort zones fall, loosely speaking, into two categories: agreements that avoid scary feelings and agreements that take a risk of feeling something that might be uncomfortable or scary, but not terrifying. […] If you choose only avoidant strategies, however, you can wind up keeping yourself frozen in your present state; avoidant strategies are how you feel safe, but risky strategies are how you grow.